Parenting a Child Who Feels Entitled

Your six-year-old says she needs a cell phone-just like her friend. Your sixteen-year-old son complains that his car is not as nice as everyone else’s (but shouldn’t he just be happy with a car? Should he even have a car?) Even if you could afford these things, you wonder: Am I just trying to keep up with the Joneses? Does my child need these things? Is my child entitled to these things just because others have them?

Trying to raise a child in Silicon Valley can be tough-not only because of the academic pressures and the current economy, but because of the wide diversity of social pressures.

What’s a parent to do in a culture with affluence and a high pressure to succeed? Building a solid parent-child relationship is key. When your child is young, work on building a solid foundation of trust (you mean no when you say no) and responsiveness (child feels his or her emotional needs are being met). This helps your child develop good ways of coping with stress and disappointment. For school-age children, work on increasing impulse control (waiting for something he or she wants) and a sense of responsibility.

Don’t wait until senior year in high school! By modeling these skills and emphasizing your relationship of trust, you will decrease the likelihood of raising an entitled son or daughter while helping your child to build the skills he or she needs to combat the peer pressure from other entitled children. Trust your relationship: Your ability to say no within the context of a healthy relationship may be better for your child’s long term development.

Care Coordinators can arrange a free 30 minute Care Consultation so you can explore options with an expert.

We invite you to call or email our Care Coordinators at 650.688.3625 or careteam@testing.chconline.org to set up an initial Parent Consultation appointment.