8 Ways to Feel Less Anxious About Things Beyond Your Control

One of my patients showed up at her virtual psychotherapy session last week looking tired. She had always been ambitious and concerned about injustice. During this session, she sighed when talking about a meeting where her colleagues complained about unfair treatment. She said: “I don’t know why they bother getting upset, when it feels like nothing matters.”

To an unusual degree, people are weary. I’m noticing that many of my patients are experiencing a deficit of optimism, and are overwhelmed about important issues that are beyond their control.

I’m calling it “hope fatigue.”

People are tired of hoping that the pandemic will end, that the Ukraine war will be over, that mass shootings can be controlled, and that our government can address these pressing crises. Two in 10 Americans said they trusted the government in Washington to do what is right “just about always” or “most of the time” in a 2022 Pew Research Center poll.

The symptoms of this fatigue are feeling anxious, tuning out or giving up.

“People are having a lot of difficulties — covid has done a number on us. And now they are insecure about the state of the world,” said Paul Slovic, a professor of psychology at the University of Oregon, who has been studying the psychology of risk and decision-making for over 60 years.

Therapists are struggling to help. We try to instill a sense of hope in our patients: that they can feel better, that they have agency, that their catastrophic thoughts may be overstating reality. But when a patient laments climate change and questions whether they should have children, it’s a challenge.

Eight steps to refocus your anxiety

Take a break from the news. Doomscrolling can be addictive and amplify the tragic nature of events.

I advise patients who are feeling depressed by the headlines to read the news just once a day, turn off alerts on their phone and, if possible, check social media sparingly.

Take care of yourself. I tell my patients: “You have to be in good fighting shape to cope with the current turbulence.” That means boosting your resilience by taking care of your nervous system (sleep well, eat well, exercise wisely) and engaging in life-affirming activities.

Focus on the present. Get in the habit of anchoring yourself in the here and now. Fretting about the future is not helpful.

Try a breathing exercise. Taking a few deep breaths — for instance, inhaling to the count of five and exhaling to the count of five — will help calm your sympathetic nervous system (the fight or flight response) and lower your anxiety.

Think about your victories. Remind yourself of what’s working well in your own life — whether it’s your job, friendships, or the uplifting array of houseplants you nurtured during the pandemic.

Be your own therapist. Ask yourself, what do I specifically feel hopeless about and why? Being able to put into words what’s getting you down can help you feel less flooded by emotions and better able to process the information rationally.

Take action. Worrying doesn’t help one’s mental health, but taking action does. Look around your community. When people engage in local issues, they have a renewed sense of optimism.

Join forces with a friend. Pick a cause. There are hundreds of nonprofits dedicated to addressing some of the most tenacious challenges on the planet. Donate money to an inspiring organization or volunteer.

Excerpted from “8 Ways to Feel Less Anxious About Things Beyond Your Control” in The Washington Post. For more details, read the full article online by Lesley Alderman, LCSW, a psychotherapist based in Brooklyn.

Source: The Washington Post | 8 Ways to Feel Less Anxious About Things Beyond Your Control, https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/09/13/mental-health-hope-fatigue-coping |© 2022 The Washington Post

---

Do you need someone to talk to? To schedule an evaluation or to get advice about your child’s or teen’s challenges, call or email a CHC Care Coordinator at 650.688.3625 or careteam@testing.chconline.org CHC teletherapy services are available now.