How to Show Up for Teens When Big Emotions Arise

Being a teenager is hard. Every day holds the possibility of emotional highs and lows, and parents don’t always know how to be supportive.

Clinical psychologist Lisa Damour says instead of jumping into problem-solving mode, parents can learn to ride the wave of emotional management with their teens.

NPR’s Rachel Martin speaks with Damour about her book The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable and Compassionate Adolescents.

Here are a few of takeaways:

Remember that adolescence is a demanding developmental stage. Damour says one of the best gifts you can give a teen is to be a steady presence and lead with curiosity and empathy.
Talking about emotions is good, but there can be a tipping point when talking too much about feelings. In this situation, Damour suggests comforting and then shifting a teen who’s overprocessing their emotions into a healthy distraction. Suggest doing an activity they enjoy and revisit the issue the next day.
Be encouraged when your teen handles their emotions in a healthy way that brings relief and does no harm. But Damour notes that when a teen’s feelings are out of proportion and they’re using destructive behaviors — like acting out or drug abuse — to cope, it’s time to step in and give more support or seek professional help.

Excerpted from “How to Show Up for Teens When Big Emotions Arise” from NPR. Read the full article online.

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