Worried About Your Teen on Social Media? Here’s How to Help

The Wall Street Journal revealed last week that researchers at Instagram had studied for years how its photo-sharing app affects young users and found that it can be particularly harmful to teenage girls, news that alarmed parents and lawmakers.

Several experts offered advice for parents of adolescents on navigating social media, whether their children are already online or on the cusp of receiving their first phone or tablet.

Don’t go from ‘zero to 100.’

Rather than giving your kid a smartphone and letting them download multiple social media apps, consider letting your child text with a best friend or a cousin on a shared family device to start, suggested Devorah Heitner, the author of “Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World.”

Then think about the most appropriate age for your child to start using social media, taking into account their personality, impulsivity and maturity level. Allow them to add one social app when they’re ready, Dr. Heitner said, rather than going “from zero to 100.”

If your daughter has body image issues, for example, maybe an app like Instagram isn’t right for her, said Jean M. Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University and the author of “iGen,” a book about teens and young adults and their relationship with technology.

Set time limits.

Think about the least invasive ways to set time limits and establish social media etiquette rather than constantly monitoring your child’s online interactions, and aim to come across as supportive and helpful, rather than someone who will be perceived as anxious, shocked or punitive, Dr. Heitner suggested.

When you decide that your kids are ready to have their own device, don’t give them 24-7 access to it, the experts said. You can set that limit via your phone — on Apple look for the Family Sharing settings and on Android you can use an app called Family Link.

Remove phones, tablets or other electronic devices from your child’s bedroom at night. And if your teenager uses their phone as an alarm clock, buy an alarm clock that is not connected to the internet, Dr. Twenge said.

If you have a kid who is tech savvy and might try to override settings like this, you may need to physically remove their device after the time limit, Dr. Heitner said.

Help your teen understand and curate their feed.

Experts said it’s helpful to talk to your teenager about who they are following, and how these accounts make them feel.

Dr. Heitner warned that teenagers should be especially cautious of any dieting or exercise sites because they could “clog up your feed” and potentially encourage unhealthy thoughts or behavior. Algorithms will serve content related to who your kids follow, what they search for and how they browse online.

Laura Tierney, the founder and chief executive of The Social Institute, an organization that teaches students across the country how to navigate social media in positive ways, advises teenagers to dig into their social media settings to find out why certain ads pop up in their feeds.

Start by visiting the Instagram app’s settings, then choose “security,” and then “access data.” Under “ads interests” you can view the specific things that Instagram thinks you like, based on your personal data. In Ms. Tierney’s experience, “most students have no idea this even exists.”

Excerpted from “Worried About Your Teen on Social Media? Here’s How to Help” in the New York Times. For more expert advice, read the full article online.

Source: New York Times | Worried About Your Teen on Social Media? Here’s How to Help, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/21/well/family/teens-social-media-help.html | © 2021 The New York Times Company

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